Dogs are great. They are so exciting and fun when we bring them into our home. If they are a new puppy, there are so many firsts and you revel in seeing them grow and learn. If they are a shelter/rescue (or older) dog, you feel the overwhelming feeling that you just did something fantastic and you and this new roommate will become best friends.
Then time passes. Your dog will chew on things, have accidents in the house. race you up and down the stairs and take you with him, steal and shred things all over your house, and drag you for blocks as you try to do your “ownerly” duty and take him for a walk.
You find yourself saying “NO” quite a lot and you don’t feel like you can leave your dog alone for even a second. No one ever told you that a dog would be as much work as a child! Well, now you know. You are always on guard and wonder if they will ever be able to live in your house without completely trashing every possession you have. You may even wonder if you will ever “like” this dog again
While you are frustrated, the first thing you should remember is “this too shall pass” (one of my Mom’s personal favorite sayings). In fact, you can do quite a bit to help your dog live in your world. And that is probably the key. The world, the house, you brought him into is not “his”. It is not his natural existence, he has no (or little) experience in knowing how to cohabitate with you.
Remember he doesn’t speak English. Treat your dog like he is an ESL (English as a second language) learner (which he is). He knows you’re not happy by your tone and your body language. Think about how amazing just that is! But he doesn’t know what you’re saying or why you are unhappy.
So what is the first thing you do. . . .Yell NO at the top of your voice and drag him to stop him from doing what he is doing. While you understood your words and actions, you have just left your dog confused and you have most likely lost some trust from your dog.
Why is NO so bad? Here are some reasons. Your dog doesn’t know what he is doing wrong, Moreover, he doesn’t know what he SHOULD be doing. Instead of saying NO, show him what he should be doing. Don’t make a big deal, just distract and substitute. Then be consistent and do it again and again until he “gets it”.
While that may be a solution for that issue, it doesn’t help him understand your rules in general. It also probably won’t increase the probability that his actions in other ways will be more appropriate. There is a way to tackle that too. TELL HIM WHAT HE’S DOING RIGHT! It is so simple, and yet most of us overlook it. How would you feel if you started a new job and your boss sat you at a desk and just said NO every time you did something you felt was the right or natural thing to do. No word of explanation, no instruction on what you should be doing, just NO. You would most likely get very frustrated and defeated.
That’s what you are doing to your dog. Instead, try telling your dog each and every time you “catch them” doing something right. Even the simplest thing! This will pay dividends. Your dog will always work to get your attention and praise. If you catch them doing good, they will then learn that this is the right thing to do and they get your attention for doing it. Viola! they start doing it on a regular basis.
It’s really not magic. Dogs two main motivations are to get “good stuff” and avoid “bad stuff”. This method checks both boxes.
